Today's quote: The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can. - Robert Cushing
Summer's end is in sight. All of the kids' summer activities have come to an end. No more Ferry Beach. No more Camp Ramsbottom. No more YMCA. Our family vacation is over. We took a week long road trip to Ocean City, NJ, Williamsburg, VA, and DC. We had a fabulous time, but now it's just a memory, something about which to scrapbook. School starts in less than two weeks. The kids have all been home this week, with no plans, nothing special to do. I thought some down time would be good for them, but the reality is they are bored out of their minds, running around the house falling over each other, then screaming at one another, and whining about being bored. My suggestions are all rejected. They don't want to take a bike ride, walk to the playground, or call a friend. Although I am generally sad to see the end of summer and its freedom, I must acknowledge that "back to school" is beginning to look better and better. Casey will return to the Montessori School as a second year primary student. He'll attend half days again this year, then next year will be full day. Chloe will be a 4th grader (how is that possible?) at Skinner Road School. Her best friend, whose parents died tragically at the beginning of the summer, will not be returning to Skinner Rd. School, and I wonder what it will be like for Chloe not to have her there. And Jack . . . at this point I still have no idea where Jack will be attending school. He is now an 8th grader -- a very reluctant 8th grader. He's bright, exceptionally so, but he loathes school. Loathes it to the point that he suffers major anxiety at the very idea of being there. It's not so much that he hates his specific school. It's school in general. The entire concept of school. School as an Institution. It's complicated. Much too complicated to get into here. The thing is, he's pushing hard for us to agree to home school him. He's adamant that he cannot go back to school. And I'm completely and utterly conflicted over the whole thing. On the one hand, I don't want him to run from his problems. On the other hand, I don't know that sending him to a place where he feels distraught and traumatized can possibly make any sense. (And if I sound as though I'm exaggerating or being melodramatic by describing him as distraught and traumatized, please trust me that I'm not. It really is that bad.) So, to date, where Jack will be schooled this year is still undecided. It weighs heavily on me, as you might imagine. One never imagines these complications when thinking about raising children. At least, I didn't. I knew it wouldn't be an easy job, and I expected there would be some heartache along the way, but I just never dreamed it could hurt this way. I never imagined that loving someone could hurt so much.
I'm also up in the air about the future of this blog. Obviously, I no longer write here on a regular basis. (I think my last update was three months ago.) I'm just not writing as much in general. In fact, I'm spending far less time in creative pursuits as I would like. I'm not sure why -- I just don't seem to make the time for it. And even when I could make the time, I seem to lack the motivation. So, it doesn't make much sense to maintain this blog. I only pay $5 per month, but nevertheless, it just seems silly to pay for a defunct blog. But I can't quite bring myself to let go of it. I've grown rather attached to it over the years, and I've done some of my best writing here -- although admittedly not in a long time. One of these days I'll make a decision. I hope.
What else is new? Not too much. We are in the process of having our basement finished. It's nearly done, and we're really excited about finally having an appropriate place for the kids to keep their toys, play video games, watch tv, and hang out with friends. Also, a small area has been designated as my crafting space. I have a long table, a large storage cabinet for my art supplies, extra lighting, and a magnetic wall. Now if only I would actually create some art. I really need some of my Collective Journey (online writing group) friends to come here and inspire me with their amazing art journaling. Too bad they're all so far away!
Casey is currently obsessed with Star Wars. It's amusing, as he's never seen a Star Wars movie, and wouldn't have the attention span to sit through it, even if we deemed it appropriate. But he has memorized all the characters names, has me check every Star Wars book I can find out of the library, and constantly (and annoyingly) quizzes us on Star Wars characters names and skills. (Very few of which I actually know.)
I have to put on my taxi cab driver's cap now and bring Jack to the orthodontist. His braces come off this year! Yeah! Perhaps I'll be back again soon? Maybe. Can't make any promises, but it's a "glass is half full" kind of day.