A Hidden Well

I loathe exercise.

Today's Quote: "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Although I had absolutely no desire to go for a walk tonight, I made myself.  I really had to talk myself into it.  I felt like one of those cartoon characters with a little angel whispering advice in one ear and a little devil whispering the opposite advice in the other.  The angel said, "Go for that walk.  It's good for you.  You'll be glad you did."  Then the devil countered with, "Hell, there's no reason to walk if you don't feel like it.  What's the point anyway?  Do you really think one little stroll around the neighborhood is going to make you a healthier person?"  This went on and on for an hour or so.  Finally, at 9:45 PM, I put on my sneakers and headed out the door.  Of course, I brought my ipod as well.  I was sick of listening to the annoyingly chaste angel argue with the scheming devil, so I put on my headphones and instead listened to Gwen Stefani singing Holla Back Girl.  I always start out so optimistically, head held high, arms swinging enthusiastically as I set off down the road at a brisk pace.  But you should see me by the end of the walk, as I limp that final stretch up the hill toward home.  Then I am truly pathetic.   Also, I wore a newish pair of sneakers tonight, and I ended up with burning blisters on both feet.  I loathe exercise.  Truly, I do.

So Jack's homework assignment for Health Class is to have people write positive comments about him on a sheet of paper.  He gets a grade for this.  The point, he tells me, is that it will increase students' self-esteem.  First I snickered.  Then I wrote something nice.  Then it occurred to me that it might be fun to carry around a sheet of paper and request positive comments from people.  I think I might do it.

abrupt ending

Today's Quote: "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." — Kurt Vonnegut

People stumble across my blog in the strangest ways.  For example, I was just checking my stats through Site Meter, and learned that someone found my blog as a result of doing a google search for "how to make fettuccini carbonara like Vinny T's".  The thing is, what I actually wrote about Vinny T's is how the food sucked and that they didn't even put peas in the fettuccini carbonara.  And I missed those peas, dammit.

My day so far:  We had Casey's B-3 Transition meeting this morning.  It was short and sweet.  I met with Amy and someone from the public school pre-school program.  Amy talked briefly about Casey's history, his progress, and his current struggles.  Together they decided what tests will need to be administered prior to his PPT (a whole battery of them -- but don't ask me to name them), and that was basically it.  At this point I really have no clue if he will qualify for the pre-school program.  But I'm okay with whatever happens.  If he qualifies, super.  If not, we'll put him the lottery as a"peer role-model".  His name is also in the Montessori lottery.  And of course he could always return to the Y.  We'll know by May at the latest -- but hopefully sooner. 

After that Casey and I did the grocery shopping.  That is, I shopped and he grazed.  A slice of cheese from the deli, a free day old cookie from the bakery, a bag of Gold "Fishies", and one of those little plastic cups of Teddy Grahams. Nothing like feeding the child to keep him content.  It took me 2 hours to shop.  That's about average for me.  Is that normal?  Whenever I return from grocery shopping, Glenn always jokes that he was getting ready to send out a search party for me. But I just can't seem to get it done much quicker than that.

And now I have to jump in the car to pick up Chloe from school! I am the Queen of Abrupt Endings.

Let the complaining commence

Today's Quote: "Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral." — Robert Orben

Okay, so the truth is I feel very guilty complaining about my petty problems and frustrations when I am so much more fortunate than so many others.  But I'm going to do it anyway.

I have a headache and I am irritable.  I tell myself I am going to walk everyday, but then I don't because -- well, I don't know why.  I guess just because I'm lazy.  When it's cold out my excuse is that it's too cold to walk.  When it snows then I say I can't walk because it's too slippery.  When it rains I say I can't walk because it's too wet and I don't have rain boots or a rain jacket.  When I wait until the evening to walk I end up doing a hundred other chores first, and then claim I can't walk because it's too late.  And when the weather is perfectly fine, not too cold, not raining or snowing, and the sun is shining, then I've no choice but to admit that I'm not walking because I'm too lazy.  I'm just a slug.  The thing is, why do I think that I shouldn't have to do it just because I don't feel like it.  There are lots of things I don't feel like doing --  laundry, dishes, grocery shopping -- but I do them anyway!  So why do I think exercise should be exempt?  I don't know.  Aarrggh.  Thinking about it makes my brain hurt.

We are redecorating Chloe's bedroom, and being in the midst of a project always causes me stress.  I wish I could just wave a magic wand and magically the whole project would be complete.  There's so much stuff in her room, so much clutter, that I just can't fathom how we're going to pull this all together.  We're really completely doing it over, from soup to nuts.  We've never really done anything to her bedroom in terms of personalizing it for Chloe.  When she was born we just kind of moved her into the guest bedroom.  We just left the walls and furniture as is.  Peach painted walls with a green and peach floral border, and the same furniture that was in my bedroom as a teenager -- and even back then it wasn't new.  I think it once belonged to our neighbor.  In any case, we've been promising Chloe for the past few years that she could have a "jungle" bedroom, and so we're finally getting around to it.  Chloe says she wants to be an interior decorator when she grow up (along with working in a pet shop and being a cashier at a grocery store), and she definitely has lots of design ideas.  She drew a sketch of excatly how she wants the room to look, and then helped me search online for a wallpaper mural.  There were at least a half dozen that she fell in love with, but eventually she settled on one called "Jungle Dreams".  Our next steps are to go furniture shopping for a new bedroom set, and then to find curtains and bed linens to go along with the animal theme.  She's really excited about the whole thing, which is great, but at this point we're still in the painting stage, and she's finding the process excruciatingly slow.  (Because we all know how patient Chloe is!)

Casey's nose won't stop running and whenever I attempt to wipe it he has a fit and a half.  Plus he's decided that all of his clothes "hurt" or make him itchy, so I end up changing his clothes several times a day until he finds something comfortable.  Sigh.

I miss the former principal.  PTO makes me grouchy.  Girl Scouts sometimes overwhelms me.  I've been a lousy, inattentive friend lately.  And I can't seem to find the energy to actually get anything accomplished.  I'm a train wreck.

really, really, really random

Today's Quote: "We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over." — Aneurin Bevan

20 Random Facts

1. I am drinking hot chocolate made by combining 1 T of baking cocoa, 3 packets of Splenda, 10 ounces of hot water, and 2 T of fat free Half & Half.  While I wouldn't say it tastes great, it's really not half bad.

2. We have no milk in the house.

3. The only thing we have to drink in the house is cranberry juice and tap water.  This morning when Chloe complained about that Glenn offered her hot sauce or blue cheese dressing.  Obviously, she decilned.

4. I went to a Pampered Chef party last night and it was fun.  Apparently I like socializing with people more than I thought.  Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to write myself off as anti-social.

5. My hands are freezing.

6. Chloe is selling Girl Scout cookies.  She needs to sell 750 boxes in order to earn a hundred dollar camp credit.  I think she's sold about 60 boxes so far.  Only 690 boxes to go!  Ha.

7. I am reading The Bean Trees for the third time.  I love that book.

8. There's no school on Monday in honor of Martin Luther King Jr's birthday.  I feel like I might want to do something fun with the kids, but I can't decide what.  Everytime I have an idea I think nope, that wouldn't work with Casey.  Poor Casey gets a bad rap. But I really do find him extremely challenging in public places!

9. Have I mentioned how much I love my ipod?

10. I love to walk but loathe walking in my own neighborhood, as it is just way too hilly, and heading down the hills is no problem, but getting back home practically kills me.

11. I played Candy Land with Chloe today.  Aren't I a good Mom?  I hate Candy Land.

12.  I am somewhat obsessed with playing MahJong on the computer.  Once I start I find it very difficult to stop.  I also like playing Tumble Bees and Word Whomp on Pogo.com.  One might think I have way too much time on my hands, which is far from true.  I start playing at midnight and am at it for hours unless I absolutely force myself to stop and go to bed.

13. We put Casey's name in the lottery for the Montessori Magnet School.  We'll find out in March if he has a spot.  If so, he'll start in September.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but not holding my breath.  The lottery has a huge number of applicants, so getting picked is unlikely.  We are currently in the process of coordinating his "transition" from Birth to Three, and he will be evaluated to see if he qualifies for the pre-school program in our public school, but frankly his speech has progressed so well that I doubt he will qualify.  He still has some significant inconsistencies and challenges in using language, but overall he's doing well.  So we shall see.

14.  I hate going grocery shopping every single week.  I wish we had more storage and one of those big freezer chests so that I could shop just once a month and stock up.

15. Chloe is badgering me to let her get a pet bird.  What do you all think?

16. I really, really, really want to take a vacation to Europe.  Glenn does not share my enthusiasm for this adventure.  Anyone want to plan a trip with me?  I think I'd be an easy person to travel with.  (I'm serious, by the way.)

17. We are going to begin redecorating Chloe's room this weekend.  She wants a jungle theme.  I can't paint animals or trees or any of that stuff, so I'm thinking a wallpaper mural and some of those giant animal wallpaper sticker things.  I'm not sure about curtains and comforters.  I wish I could sew!

18.  I also really, really, really want to knit or crochet.  I think I should take a class or something.

19.  Have you noticed that I say "really, really, really" a great deal?  I need to expand my vocabulary.

20. I wish someone would write me a letter.

The End.  Amen.  Blessed Be.  And all that jazz.

Chloe "The Knuckles"

SNOW DAY!

And he is a blessing.

Happy 12th birthday to Jack, my first born, sensitive, complicated, funny, Old Soul.

2008

Happy New Year!