A Hidden Well

She is a blessing.

Today's Quote: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” - Dr. Seuss

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHLOE!

dreams and books and whatnot

Today's Quote: "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." — Albert Einstein

I've been having the weirdest dreams.  Maybe it's the Universe trying to communicate an important message to me.  Or maybe it's all the chips and dips and cookies left over from Christmas that I've been snacking on before bed each night.  The dreams do seem to share a common theme.  They all involve people whom I either miss or whom I anticipate missing.  For example, twice now I've dreamed about Patti, whose last day as principal of Chloe's school was last week.  I think I mentioned at some point that she would be leaving to take on the position of Director of Pupil Services for the town.  I tried not to think or write about it very much because I just didn't want it to be true.  But alas, it is true and that became undeniably apparent last week when I attended both a goodbye party for her and a school assembly in her honor.  It's not as though I'll never see her again.  She'll still be working in this town, for our school system, and from time to time she'll even have reason to be at Chloe's school.  Plus, I have her email address and her phone number.  I can contact her easily enough.  But the fact remains that I will no longer see her or have reason to interact with her on a regular basis, and I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to making an effort to keep in touch with people, I stink.  Therefore, I am already anticipating that I will miss Patti a great deal.  And that's how I found myself dreaming about her.  In one of the dreams I was a high school student and she was the principal. I kept getting in trouble for being late to class or forgetting my homework, and ultimately I was sent to her office, at which point I started bawling my eyes out and confessed to Patti that I was getting in trouble on purpose because I missed her so much and just wanted an excuse to come talk to her.  Bizarre.  But that's me.  I've also been dreamed about Jenny, a former teacher of Jack's, whom I really do miss.  And last night I dreamed about Josh, a friend of Jack's whom I also miss a whole lot.  Jack and Josh have been close friends since 2nd grade, and over the years Josh has spent a great deal of time with our family.  I've always had a real soft spot for Josh.  But Jack and Josh have spent very little time together since they began attending different schools, and I find myself thinking about Josh a lot and wondering how he's doing.

Aside from dreaming, I haven't done a whole heck of a lot over the past few days.  Glenn is on vacation and the kids don't have school so mostly we've just been lounging around in our pajamas playing games, watching videos, reading, and eating left overs.  Eventually the food is going to run out and we will have to go to the grocery store, but for now we're good.  Jack and I did leave the house briefly last night for a quick shopping spree at Barnes & Noble.  Gift cards in hand, he purchased two books about some supernatural kind of stuff (I can't recall specific titles -- he reads so much on that subject that it all begins to blend together in my mind).  And while I didn't have a gift card, I did have some Christmas money burning a hole in my pocket, so I, too, made a few purchases.  First, and I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, I bought a copy of Elizabeth Gilbert's best seller Eat, Pray, Love.  I've never had any real desire to read this book, as I find it exceedingly aggravating that the author presents herself as this ordinary, "Everywoman", when in reality she is a woman of great privilege.  Most of us, in our quest to "find ourselves", would not have the resources, financial or otherwise, to spend a year traveling the world.  Having said that, I must admit that I am actually enjoying the book thus far.  I don't want to like it . . . but I do.  I also picked up Dancing With Joy, a poetry collection that I've had my eye on for a while now.  I haven't had a chance to open it up yet . . . I'm saving it for a quiet moment, and those are few and far between.

We've been having MAJOR phone issues (as in, no dial tone for days after it rains), which means we are also having problems with our DSL.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  No rhyme or reason.  It's making me crazy.  I've been attempting to complete this entry for a day and a half now, and at least a half dozen times we've lost the internet connection.  So, I think I'm just going to end it now and post it while the internet connection still exists.  Plus, at this point I've read and added to this entry so many times that I'm bored silly with it.

A Christmas Story

Today's Quote: "In a way winter is the real spring, the time when the inner things happen, the resurge of nature." — Edna O’Brien

It's nearly 9:00 PM.  Quickly approaching the end of my 37th Christmas.  I don't know why I chose to begin my entry like that.  One might think I have something deep or significant to say about the passing of time, but I actually don't.  I really just came here to say hi.  Merry Christmas.  I'm tired.  How about you?

Yesterday, Christmas Eve, was spent cleaning the house and getting ready for Christmas Day.  I was on Day Two of a cold, so I felt pretty lousy.  We went to the 6:00 PM Christmas Eve service at the meeting house.   Jack lit the chalice for the third year in a row, which is kind of weird because it's totally unplanned.  We just show up and Vicki asks him to light it and so he does.  Casey was totally wired, and I can't even say it was due to him being all excited about Christmas, because I'm pretty certain he didn't fully comprehend that Santa would be coming in a few hours.  In any case, sitting still was not an option. As luck would have it, we sat right up front, and he kept "dancing", jumping up and down, spinning around in circles, and singing the ABC's at random times.  Glenn was mortified but honestly it didn't bother me all that much because it was just so clearly out of my hands.  Plus, the children in the family chosen to serve as the tableau for the Holy Family were even more active and squirmy than Casey, so I didn't feel so bad.  After the service we went out for our annual Christmas Eve dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  This year we ate at the Tea House, and the food was good, but I was feeling worse than ever, Casey objected to sitting in a high chair and Glenn and I had to take turns writing letters and numbers for him on a tiny note pad from my purse in order to keep him happy, and Chloe just wanted to go home and get to bed so that Santa would hurry up and come.  Normally we read The Night Before Christmas before putting the kids to bed, but this year we just threw some cookies on a plate for Santa and called it a night.  At about 4 AM I had to come downstairs and sleep sitting upright on the sofa in order to stop coughing.  Apparently Casey awoke shortly thereafter and Glenn took him into our bed.  At 7:30 AM all the kids were up and the gift opening mayhem began.  In my exhaustion, I failed to take a single picture.  Not just this morning, but all day.  So there shall be no photos to document this Christmas, unless somebody else took some and decides to share them with me.  Santa brought the gifts everyone was wishing for most.  For Casey this was a wooden train table with tracks and choo choo trains galore.  For Chloe it was Squawkers McCaw, a robotic talking parrot.  And for Jack it was Guitar Hero III, to which he is now officially addicted.  I see an intervention in his future.  I should also mention that Glenn was very generous and I received some really thoughtful gifts, as well, including a Healthy Back bag, a docking station for my ipod, and the exact pair of headphones I'd been wanting. 

At noon all the grandparents arrived, followed by Kevin & Christin and Uncle Charlie.  We ate too many appetizers and drank too much eggnog and then we opened more gifts.  And then we ate dinner, which consisted of antipasto, baked ziti, turkey, gravy, faux turkey and faux gravy, cranberry, glazed carrots, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto, and Italian bread.  Too much food.  But it was all really yummy.  We followed this up with coffee and too much dessert.  Which was also really yummy.  And I'm happy to report that several family members requested my wine biscuits.

It's now 9:30 PM. Glenn and Casey are both sleeping. Jack and Chloe are arguing like cats and dogs, so I'm about to send them both to bed, as well.  And I'm going to fix myself a Nyquil night cap and drift away into dream land.  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.  The End.

hi-yah!

Guess who just took a karate belt test and moved up to the rank of Blue Belt Green Stripe? 

Me!!! 

Just kidding.  It's Chloe, of course.  Better yet, by a unanimous vote of all the instructors, Chloe was named Student of the Month -- which is a very big deal at the dojo because Sensei presents you with a snazzy gold medal and everyone claps and you feel like a martial arts super star.  At least that's how I imagine one would feel.  In any case, Chloe is thrilled and I'm pretty sure she's wearing her medal to bed.

Don't get me wrong, I like this time of year, but...

This is Glenn, and I am posting my first entry today on Gina's blog.  Regarding the title of this post...I do enjoy Christmas time, especially the excitement being exhibited by my children these days.  Believe it or not, I have even given up my 80's heavy metal hair flare collection to enjoy the 24/7 Christmas favorites on Lite 100.5.  The station also makes for good company when you are trying to get home from work in one of those lovely New England nor'easters, hence the title of this post.  The most depressing part of December and this weather is that I know we have at least another 4 or 5 more months of this crap before we are in the clear.  I really look forward to spring for my annual fishing trip on the Natchaug River with Jack and my dad.  I enjoy leaves on the trees, green lawns, the warm winds of June, fireflies, fireworks, camping, etc.  (okay, okay...I know the heat and humidity can be just as bad, but I don't mind it).  It must be a sign that I am getting OLD, but I dislike winter now.  So...I am posting some photos today to help remind me, and you, of warmer days.  I hope you enjoy my post.

Here is our friend the fox in our backyard this fall.

Here is Chloe jumping in our pool on a WARM June day.

more complaining

Today's Quote: "It sems to me that we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive.  There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them." - George Eliot

The problem with . . .

wine biscuits - The problem with wine biscuits is that although they are perhaps one of the most delicious cookies on the face of the earth, they are also one of the ugliest cookies.  And to the best of my knowledge, there is no way to improve their appearance.  I've been making them every year at Christmas for all of my adult life, and my mom made them every year at Christmas throughout my childhood, and not once have they been pretty.  But they've always been delicious.  The thing is, if you're not familiar with wine biscuits, as I've discovered many of my friends from CT are not, well then you aren't likely to be inclined to taste one based on its appearance.  The truth is the finished product somewhat resembles a small pile of dog poop.  Gross, right?  Yeah, I know.  And it's a shame, because they are truly scrumptious.  I made a big batch this morning.  Let me know if you want to try one.  I'd be happy to share.  And if not, well then more for me.

winter - The problem with winter is that it makes life so unpredictable.  You just never know when a snow storm might come along and make all your plans null and void.  And studying the weather forecast isn't particularly helpful because meteorologists are only human.  Sometimes a nor'easter is predicted and it turns out to be nothing more than a brief snow squall.  Or vice versa.  I say all of this because I am already contemplating this Friday, when I am supposed to take my Girl Scout troop Christmas caroling around the neighborhood, followed by a party at the school.  The girls are really excited.  We've practiced our songs, made jingle bells to carry and Santa hats with our names on them to wear.  We've talked about this event for months.  And now I'm hearing that it might snow.  Aarrgghh.

Christmas - The problem with Christmas is that it's too short.  All the build up, the preparation, the excitement, and it's over in one day.  I think Christmas should be a week long celebration, remniscent of the type that took place in ancient Greece and Rome.  For example, Saturnalia.  Saturnalia is the feast at which the Romans commemorated the dedication of the temple of the god Saturn, which took place from December 17th - 23rd.  (No, I am not an expert on Ancient Rome.  I just know how to use Wikipedia.  Jack, however, can tell you a great deal about Ancient Rome, thanks to his school's focus on Latin studies.)  Anyway, since I celebrate Christmas strictly as a secular holiday (ouch, I can feel those daggers in my back), I am all for lengthening the holiday so that it resembles a Pagan Festival.  But that's just me.

this blog - The problem with this blog is that I edit myself all the time.  I can't seem to stop myself.  I want to write and express myself as honestly as I possibly can.  I want to be true to myself.  And I very much want to be read.  But at the same time, I very much want to be liked.  And that's where The Editor steps in and starts deleting, lest I inadvertently offend someone out there.

What are you finding problematic today?  Please leave a comment and let me know.

ahhh, the sweet sound of complaining

I've been on sabbatical for about three weeks now, and you know what I miss most about this blog?  I miss having a place to complain.  Sure I could put pen to paper and complain all I want in a personal journal.  But that's not nearly as satisfying. Apparently, I need an audience.  I need all of you.  (All six of you!)  And anyone else out there in cyberspace who happens upon this blog and decides to stick around and read.  So, I'm making a reappearance in order to do just that.  Complain.  Because if I don't I think my brain may just explode.

First on my list of complaints is, of all things, a television program.  There's this show on TLC (The Learning Channel, for those of you who don't do cable tv) that just irritates the hell out of me.  It's called John & Kate Plus Eight, and despite the fact that it irritates me, I watch it faithfully every week, right after Little People Big World.  John & Kate are a couple from Pennsylvania who, with the help of fertility drugs, had twin girls.  A few years later they decided they wanted another child, so they turned to fertility drugs again, and this time they got six babies.  Three boys and three girls.  So there's John & Kate, a set of twins, and a set of sextuplets.  In a three bedroom house.  I think the twins are 6 years old and the sextuplets are 3.  Utter chaos.  On the surface it seems like the kind of show I would enjoy watching.  I'm not too proud to admit that I have a weakness for reality tv.  And this is a show about raising kids, something I can very much relate to.  There are days when I can barely manage my own three, generally well behaved children . . . so I can't even imagine caring for EIGHT, six of whom are still potty training.  Aarrggh.  Shoot me now.  The show has lots of potential.  The problem is the mother, Kate.  SHE DRIVES ME INSANE.  First of all, she always looks good.  Her hair is always neat and fashionably styled.  It has nicely maintained highlights and it's short and perky.  None of that hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail for her.  Her clothes are always clean.  Her makeup carefully applied.  HOW DOES SHE DO IT?  But that's not what really bugs me about her.  What really bugs me is that she is incredibly anal retentive.  Every one of those 8 kids has to look perfect before they leave the house each day.  Their shirts must be tucked in, socks must match their outfits, hair combed, faces free of any milk moustaches, and don't even think about putting them in their play sneakers if they're going to be seen in public.  She cooks almost entirely organic, which is great if you've got the time and money to do so.  Personally, if I had eight kids and one income, I don't think I'd be losing any sleep at night if I had to buy my groceries from Stop & Shop rather than Whole Foods.  And she treats her husband, the father of these 8 children, like crap.  She constantly criticizes and belittles him, on national television.  It's sad because he seems like a genuinely nice, down to earth guy, and so when she criticizes and puts him down, it really just makes her look like a bitch.  And it irritates me.  So, why not just stop watching, you ask?  Well you see, Gentle Reader, that would simply make too much sense.  And while I am many things, sensible I am not.

Moving right along, I also feel the need to complain about people who make committments and do not keep them.  DRIVES ME NUTS.  Let me provide a bit of history here.  In September I joined a book discussion group.  It's not just your run of the mill, sponsored by the public library book discussion group.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that type of group.  It's just that this one isn't, and I wanted to clarify.)  This particular group is offered through a Women's Center, and was specifically developed for women who want to read and discuss books from a psychological or therapeutic perspective.  (I'm not even sure if that description makes sense, but it's the best I can do at the moment.)  The group started in September.  We were each interviewed in advance by the facilitators to insure that this would be a good fit.  We each agreed that yes, we would show up each month, on time, having read the book and prepared to discuss it.  In October one person quit and one person hadn't read the book.  In November one person didn't show up and two hadn't finished the book.  This month's book was The Liar's Club by Mary Karr.  It stunk.  I just couldn't work up any real interest in it.  Every time I attempted to read it, I fell asleep.  This book became the bane of my existence.  I styaed up night after night well past midnight in order to finish the book before our meeting, which was scheduled for tonight.  And I did manage to finish it.  I hated every word of it, but I finished it and was ready to discuss it.  I even turned down an invitation to the annual holiday party of the Women's Group I attended for 5 years.  (And for the record, I love going to that party.  This was the first one I've ever missed.)  So you can imagine how annoyed I was when, on my way to the book group tonight, I got a call on my cell phone notifying me that several people had called at the very last minute and said they couldn't make it, therefore tonight's meeting was cancelled.  I couldn't even just turn around and head home, because I was on the highway stuck in barely moving traffic.  Instead I went to Whole Foods (Ha!  just call me Kate!) and got a slice of white pizza and a lemon seltzer.  Then I did some Christmas shopping.  I am sooooo close to being done.  In fact, I suppose I could call myself done.  There are a few more small things I'd like to pick up, but if I don't it won't be the end of the world. 

I could find plenty more to complain about.  Evidently I'm quite good at it.  Let's see . . . our phone lines have been filled with static for days and the phone company claims there's nothing wrong.  The principal at Chloe's school is leaving at the end of December and I am heart broken and still really in denial about the whole thing because I don't want it to be true.  Casey has a had a cold for weeks and hasn't been napping or sleeping at night, and this morning he told me both his ears hurt so I took him to the doctor who looked at his ears and informed me that they are not infected -- which I guess is a good thing, except that I wanted there to be a reason he's not sleeping.  Oh, and because I have a number of events planned over the next few days, they are of course forecasting two major snow storms.  Not a single flake of snow has fallen and already a few schools have cancelled school for tomorrow.

Despite all my complaints, you should know that I'm really pretty happy.  I love, love, love Christmas.  I have been blessed with great friends.  Other than a mysterious ear ache, my kids are healthy and thriving.  There are radio stations that play Christmas music 24/7.  You see, I have plenty to be happy about.  It's just that I have complaining down to a science!

Here's Jack lighting the candles for Hanukkah and reading from the Torah . . . in his Santa Claus hat! 

And here's Casey at a Christmas party with a giant dog, the YMCA's mascot.  (It's actually Glenn in that costume.  Don't ask.)