kicking and screaming

Today's Quote: "The truth was, she would have liked to be someone.  To have some real talent, something to offer.  It was her secret.  It was so tedious to have ambition, to want to be thought special when you were flat-out ordinary." - Janet Fitch, Paint it Black

Chloe starts school tomorrow and I am SO NOT READY.  I don't mean unprepared.  We are prepared in that we've purchased some back to school clothes, shiny new sneakers with lights, and a lime green lunch box with a rainbow colored gecko on it.  With much prodding from me and heavy sighing from her, she's finally finished her summer reading packet.  She even had her hair cut recently, so she won't start the school year with shaggy bangs hanging in her face.  Physically we are ready.  But emotionally I am not ready.  In fact, the phrase that comes to mind when I think about school starting is kicking and screaming.  As in, if I have to acknowledge summer's end, I'm only going to do so kicking and screaming.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of heat and humidity, so I welcome the cool, crisp days of fall.  But I don't transition well.  I feel as though I've just got the whole summer routine figured out, I've just really started to settle into summer and its more relaxed pace, and now it's being yanked away from me.  Last night as I struggled to drift off to sleep, I was actually filled with a sense of dread at the thought of fall's approach.  I felt convinced that I couldn't possibly do it all again.  The procuring of mums, the scarecrows, the raking of leaves (which is kind of odd because I don't even rake the leaves -- Glenn uses the tractor), the Halloween costumes, the carving of Jack-o-lanterns, the turkey, the trimmings, the snow, the ice, the school closings, the holiday shopping, the Christmas tree, the breakfast with Santa, the carols, the wrapping, the baking, the fairs, the lists, not to mention the homework, baths, lunch making, and bed time routines.  Normally I am at my happiest around the holidays.  I am that person the rest of the world wants to slap because I am happily humming Christmas carols as I bake mountains of cookies and carefully package them in little handmade containers tied with red and green ribbon.  For some reason it all just strikes me as overwhelming now.  More than I can possibly manage.  All this angst triggered by something as simple as the first day of school.  Don't most parents look forward to this day?  (I'm thinking of that Staples commercial in which the parents are pushing around a shopping cart filled with school supplies joyfully singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" while their two children tag along behind them looking miserable.)  Or is that just what the media would have us believe?

Comments

[Shelly]

I am feeling the same pain. I don't want our summer to end. I'm considering moving to Australia, to take advantage of the opposite seasons. Alternatively, I'm going to keep having babies until I'm 60, so I always have a little one who can stay home on random weekdays with me.

[Katie]

Nope, you're not alone. I don't do change well either! The summer flew by, and I am already dreading shoveling snow early in the morning and getting the 4 kids snow suited up and out of the house in the morning. Shorts and t-shirts are SOO much easier than finding 8 matching mittens, dry hats, bulky coats etc.. I LIKE not having anywhere to go in the morning and lounging around with the kiddos, and then walking outside in bare feet!! I vote for school on an "as needed" basis, as in I get to send them (including the two year olds) when I need a break, even if it's noon and August and I get to keep them home when I feel like it! ..... On the other hand in 9 months we'll both be writing that school's ending, it flew by, and we're not ready for it to end. sigh